My Child Would Never Do That

My Child Would Never Do That

You’ve heard parents who say that.  “My child would never do that.”  Can I get an eye roll, please?  I’m calling bullshit.

I saw this pic on Facebook and it really made me think.  Where does the liability fall on children’s behavior?  I may not have actually pulled the trigger but I raised him to that point.  What he does from that point forward is his doing.  But what he did up until that point is MY doing. Read More

Hockey Check Hit

It’s just part of the game

I really can’t hear that anymore…

Yes…I know.  I play hockey every week.  Luckily,  there is no checking in the women’s league.  Well…at least, not intentionally…

I don’t really open my mouth that much at my older son’s games.  Shocking.  I know. Have you ever yelled directly into a wall?  That’s what it’s like when you yell at the glass in a hockey game.  You look like a fucking idiot.  I try not to do that.  Besides, no one on the ice can hear you.  But, sometimes, our emotions get the best of us.  At that point, you don’t care what you look like.  My emotions are flying high, especially, when hitting occurs at a high rate of speed. Read More

Finding Clarity In Unconsciousness

Huh?  Is that even possible? Finding clarity while you’re knocked out? Really? So, I’m a bit quirky. I really do pull my blog titles out of my own personal abyss. And it’s a deep one! And out of the deep comes some really odd things.

Someone or something or some higher power was watching over me yesterday. Choices we make everyday can affect us. The big ones. The little ones. The impulsive ones. The subconscious ones. So many choices we make each day. Whether we make them consciously or simply on autopilot. We make them. With each choice are consequences. All of our actions have a consequence. Whether intended or not.

Waking up in the middle of the night with horrific stomach cramps is painful. And it sucks. You are powerless as some 24 hour virus has taken control of you. Your body. Your mind. So you sit there on the porcelain god waiting for this mass exodus of EVERYTHING out of your body. So, I’m weak. I’m dehydrated. I’m exhausted. I can’t sleep as I double over in this writhing pain. Think contractions. Remember those? The closer to the birth, the closer the contractions are. I am no where near giving birth but I am having contractions. And they hurt!

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Sorry, girls…but mom’s ADD has set in…

Again…

Shocker…

My girls did NOT win the “mom’s got fashion nor gives a shit about it” lottery. Much to their dismay. “Mom, we need new swimsuits.” It’s the middle of July. Aren’t we past swimsuit season yet? Can’t they just wear last year’s suit. I do. I lost that argument so we trekked to Target and I said, “you have 6 minutes (all my ADD could handle) to find 2 suits each.” What? Are you crazy? We have to look at every thing in the store. 100,000 articles of clothing in the store. No problem. They are up the challenge. Tick. Tock.

“Mom, we need back to school clothes.” Ok. I get that. I remember going to Dillard’s and I was allowed 2 pairs of pants and 2 short sleeve Polos. (Ralph Lauren was pure gold back in the early 80’s.) Never mind, long sleeve. Those were $40. The short sleeved ones were only $22. And that the solid ones. The ones with stripes for $28. No way that was happening in my life when I was in 7th grade. Read More

Am I a good parent? A bad parent? Or in between?

March 1, 2015

I constantly screw up as a mom. I’m short tempered. I get easily irritated. I’m outnumbered. I’m alone a lot. I question myself. My actions. My delivery. It’s harsh. And it’s not sugarcoated. Definitely rough around the edges. Ok…rough is euphemistic. Unbearable? Everybody knows I have been known to put my foot in my mouth. A lot! I spanked all four of my children. With my bare hand. Never with an accessory like a belt or a spoon or a brush. I was spanked with all of those. Have you ever seen your handprint on your child’s behind? That’s a true wake up call. Luckily, spanking was few and far between but it made its point. They are too old to be spanked now but I look back and wonder if it was a smart thing or a dumb thing to do. Not really in the mood for a debate on spanking. It is what it is and it’s all in the past. More screaming now. I’m quite sure that does more damage, anyway. How do I know the damage I am causing them? Or the good?

Where is the scale to measure my parenting?

There is a flipside. It’s not all doom and gloom over here. After all, I am the fun mom. The adventurous mom. The athletic mom. The coach. The teacher. (ok…really, just a substitute teacher…did that a few times at my son’s school. Subbed for PE and got to play dodge ball all day with the kids. When my son’s class came in, my son and all his friends loved pelting me with the ball. Yep. I’m that kind of mom.) I was the mom who got in the water with all 4 of my kids and taught them how to water ski. “Tips up!” Oh the patience it takes to get a 6 year old up on skis. They all did it! And as they got up and skied in a circle, I lay there in the water. Praying that I don’t get hit by a boat. Talk about scary! I taught all 4 of mine how to throw a ball, hit a ball, kick a ball, and catch a ball. I got all 4 up on ice skates. I take them rock climbing. Zip lining. Snow skiing. Water skiing. If it involves anything outdoors or on a court, a field, a rink, a gym, I’m all in. Ask me to sit and play a video game, I miserably fail at those. Gladly. I was never one to sit inside. For obvious reasons.

I know I’m the fun mom. I do lots of activities with my kids. But I’m not patient. I can only wonder how much damage I am doing to them…Why don’t parents come with an autocorrect function like the keypad on my iPhone? I feel like I’m walking this very thin line. I want my kids to have what I didn’t. But am I spoiling them by giving them too much? Where do I draw the line? Will they ever have my drive, my work ethic, my incessant need for a better life? I always say the best gift we can give our kids is not material. It’s self confidence. I’m quite sure I exude self confidence but how deep does it really go? How can I teach my kids things when I was never taught them?

So many questions as a parent. Not sure I would really want to see my report card. Sure I get and “A” in adventure. But what do I get in the everyday, day to day monotony of parenting?

More questions than answers in today’s rant…leaving for a cruise in 7 days. I know it will be fun. Lots of fun things planned for my kids. Now, if you could just get me thru the next 7 of the day to day life that I find so challenging as a parent.