Mind Altering Endorphins

Wanda MeansThe rush of endorphins…oh…how that has altered my mind over the years. And the need for the rush has certainly gotten me into trouble over the years. But it has also calmed me. At times. Natural endorphins can stop the pain. Can create a euphoric high.

I find there are several ways we release.

Crying. Sweating. And, yes, orgasms. Anything to get the heart rate up and the blood flowing. Read More

Orgasms…there’s a time and a place for them…

IMG_3098I’m a sexual woman…no…a sexual being. I’m in touch (pun intended) with myself. Not just my sexual self. But my emotional self. My mental self. My physical self. I know my body. I know how to express myself in many ways. I’m not one to hold back with my words nor am I one to hold back with my sexual self. I take care of my personal sexual needs. I enjoy it. There is absolutely nothing wrong it. And I’m not afraid to talk about it. It’s so important to know how your body reacts to certain stimuli and NOT be afraid to explore it. I’m pretty sure I give new meaning to the term “wet spot”. And, yes. I just went there.

They say the more orgasms you have, the longer the life you will live. It’s all about the blood flow. Getting that heart rate up! It’s good for the soul. The heart. The body. And the mind. Both the emotional and wise mind. I have no issue exercising my right as a woman. As a human being. To thoroughly enjoy yourself in a sexual way. Either alone or with the right partner. Being sexual is NORMAL and highly encouraged in the proper situation. If you don’t have a vibrator, get one. And don’t be afraid to use it. Sex is NOT dirty. And shouldn’t be. Even though I was introduced to it at such a young age, I don’t let that moment in time define me. I’m not afraid to be the woman I want to be in a sexual way. And I will not feel guilt nor shame because I simply enjoy sex.


I can’t be this sexually crazed woman when my children are near. When I say near, I mean in the house with me at the same time. I’m just not going to go there. When my children are with me, I’m in mom mode which means crazy sexual Wanda does not exist. Some things just DON’T co-exist. Like sex and children. EVER!

This is what disturbs me. Tremendously. Fucking pedophiles. The lines are so blurred. They are constantly crossed. I simply don’t get it and I lived it. Wish it was one great big blur. But it isn’t. Luckily, I can separate the two. Sex and children. But others simply can’t. Or won’t.

This blog is about my journey as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the role hypocritical Christians played in it. I know all about my abuse and, yet, I can still have a healthy sex life. THANK GOD!

This blog isn’t about the journey of others. I haven’t walked in their shoes. I haven’t lived in their heads. I’m not their maker nor their judge but this whole Josh Duggar situation has me all up in arms! My feelings are all over the map. I don’t know all the facts but I saw where he admitted to the sexual abuse of his sisters. GROSS. And, when they were little girls. He was a teenager. He owned up only AFTER some magazine recently found the police report from 2002. How convenient. His parents said he made a mistake that caused a tremendous pain for the family. Paulo Coehlo, author of “The Alchemist,” said, “Mistakes made more than once are decisions.” The least his parents could do was admit to them being decisions on his part. But, hey, this whole thing brought the family closer to God.

I have news for you.

God may have walked on water but he CANNOT cure pedophilia. I hope his sisters are able to get help. Real help. There is no fucking way I would let my children around him. It’s our job as parents to protect our children from pedophiles. ESPECIALLY known pedophiles. Or, hell, just sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away. Pedophilia doesn’t go away. Many women don’t really ever get over the abuse. They go on for years unable to have a healthy sex life. Unhealthy relationships. Some are just downright scared to be with a partner.

But some women do get over the abuse. They are able to move on. They are able to realize that sex with the right partner or simply alone is ok.

Like me. As long as my kids aren’t around. There’s a time and a place.