Have You Checked the Children?

wanda and tape











Let’s take a moment to say thank you to the person(s) who started this #metoo campaign.  It’s a good start.

Unwanted sexual advances is NOT acceptable.  So stop staring at my ass and then whistling at me.  Trust me.  You have no chance–so just stop.  Ok, well maybe Patrick Dempsey does.  I’m hoping he has way too much class to ever be that crude.

I digress.

So thank you.  Truly.  I’m touched (luckily not by Harvey Weinstein, tho).  Maybe we should thank good ole Harv.  Thank you, Harvey, for being the sick fuck that you truly are.  Because of you, this #metoo movement was started!  I know how much you love the smell of power and pussy.  Let’s add prison to that list of P words.  That’s if you don’t off yourself first.  You’re a coward so I’m guessing that’s on your to do list.

Awareness is important but, let’s face it, it’s not enough.  It’s like putting a band aid on an open, gaping wound from a 12 gauge shot gun right in the middle of your chest.  Trust me.  It’s not enough.  We need action.  Not just any action but a visceral action–one straight from the heart or perhaps, the gut.

Let’s start with a complete makeshift of the minds of men.  They say a woman’s mind is wired like the super highway of the internet.  But a man’s is wired like a two way street.  How hard can it be to rewire them?

Sadly, it’s really not that simple.  And it’s WAY more than tweaking his tongue.  It’s way more than just sexual harassment.  It’s rape.  It’s abuse.  It’s child molestation.  It’s pretty much sticking your dick, your tongue, your hand, and any other appendage where it’s not welcome.  Whether the victim is 80 or 6.  I’m not up on my sexual assault facts on those over 18 but I do know a few facts about sexual abuse of children.

Let’s get a little uncomfortable, shall we?  Because the truth has a way of doing just that.

Not sure where you live but I’m going to drop a few truth bombs about one of the demographics here in North Texas.

According to their census data, Denton, TX is a small (ish) county just north of Dallas with about 800,000 residents.  Of those 800,000 residents, 200,000 are under 18 years of age.  It’s not like I make this stuff up.  This past spring, I spent some time with the program director learning about their center.  After meeting with the director of  CACDC ( Children’s Advocacy Center for Denton County), I learned some dismal facts.

DISMAL.  Oh how I hate that word.

According to the CACDC statistics, 1 in 10 children will be sexually assaulted.  Yes, I said 1 in 10.  Even tho, I feel like it’s much higher we are going to go with the 1 in 10 number.  Remember, this is full on sexual assault of a child under 18.  Not a grown woman being sexually harassed.

So…let’s go back to the Denton digits.  If 1 in 10 children is abused that means 20,000 kids in Denton at some point have been abused.

Guess  how many the center saw come in their doors last year?  10,000?  5,000?  1,000?  Try less than 800.

Wait a minute.  So of the 800,000 people living in Denton, only 800 kids were able to find help in a safe place.

Hmmm.  Let me do some quick math here.  Easy math.  (Not that common core math that hardly anyone understands).  That means that of those 20,000 kids being abused only 4 percent of them were able to get help through the children’s advocacy center.

Wait.  Did I do that math correctly?  Only 4 percent were rescued from their hell?  Want to know how many were convicted and imprisoned last year of those 800 cases?  Any guesses?  Less than 50.  Ouch.

In no way am I discounting what the CACDC does or any children’s advocacy center in the US for that matter.

My point is simple.  The numbers are WAY too low.  These kids are either afraid to speak up or they simply don’t know where to go to get help.

Who’s doing this horrific damage?  Is it the preacher, the coach, the teacher, the neighbor or, worse, some pedophile, meth head living inside an abandoned trailer in East Texas trolling your child on the web?  Easily, it can be all of the these.  Unfortunately, that’s only 5% to 10% of all perpetrators.

So, rest easy.  The odds of your child getting abducted by some whack job on the internet are low.  Very low.

Remember that psychotic thriller, “When a Stranger Calls?”  Remember how scared you were when the police told the teenage babysitter, “The call is coming from inside the house.”  I’ll never forget that scene.   Anyone my age remembers that movie and certainly that line, “Have you checked the children?”  As scary as it is to think a stranger could abduct and abuse your children, the statistics tell us that the odds of that happening are VERY low.  Thank God for that.

But where do the rest of the other 90 to 95% of the sexual predators come from?

Inside the home.  That’s where.  It’s as if that movie is alive in each of these children being abused.  And they can’t escape.  If these numbers are accurate across the board, imagine only 4% get to escape.  The other 96% are living this hell daily.  Imagine that.  What can you do to help?  More importantly, what will you actually do to help?

Have you checked your children?  Are they safe from their father, their mother’s boyfriend, their step father, their uncle, their brother, or YOU?  Are you doing something you shouldn’t be doing?  Sure, we can all post on Facebook #metoo and kudos to those raising awareness of sexual harassment and sexual abuse to show the magnitude of this endemic.   But we need much more than just a post.

How many of you can truly be honest and actually stop what’s going on beyond those closed doors in your own home?  It’s time to check the children to make sure they are safe from the hell inside their own homes.  It’s time to stop doing what you’re doing.  If it happened to you, don’t repeat it.  Nobody and I mean nobody can do a damn thing about what happened to me in 1977.  But I do know that there is no fucking way I would ever repeat what happened to me.  #iwontrepeat

And, if you are repeating that dreaded cycle of abuse, can you stop?  Will you stop?  Can you own it?  Will you own it?

Do you have the courage to stop abusing that child?  To step up and own it? Do you have the courage to say “I will stop?”  Or are you just another weak human being hiding behind a closed door?  It’s a choice to stop.  If you don’t have the courage to own it, at least have the courage to stop the abuse.   And I mean now.  RIGHT FUCKING NOW.  Give that child back her childhood because one day she will grow up and she will have the courage to tell someone.  And, then you’ll be fucked.  Like Harvey Weinstein.  He loved to exercise his power over those powerless people.   Like you.  Exercising your power over that powerless child.  Now look, Harvey will probably go to prison like you will one day.  Do you know what they do with pedophiles in prison?  Oh well.  You’ll soon find out.  Paybacks are hell.

Again, thank you, to the #metoo campaign.  Let’s add to this.  #iwontrepeat and #iwillstop

April is Child Abuse “Aware”ness Month


child-abuse-factsApril is CHILD ABUSE awareness month…
However…being aware WILL NOT cut it…
We need action.
We need it NOW.
If you’re abusing your child, STOP.
If your child tells you they were touched, believe them.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, talk to your kids TODAY. Before it’s too late.

Read the grueling stats.  Share them with your friends, your family.  Even your children.


Feeling Special in the “Spotlight”


Sexual abuse of children is in the “Spotlight.”  Yes.  Pun intended.

Watch.  This.  Movie.

Any good movie should move you emotionally.  A great movie will bring you to tears.   “Spotlight” brought me to tears.  No.  I wasn’t abused by a priest.  I’m not even Catholic.  I grew up protestant.  I had my own religious hypocrisy shoved down my throat.  Both literally and figuratively. Read More

Unlike my mother was, I am NOT for sale…

I am NOT for saleLet me be very clear.  I am NOT for sale.  And yes.  That is an Olan Mills portrait.  You remember those?  You couldn’t hit more 80’s than that!  Oh, that horrid fake bookshelf background.  No comments on my wings nor the poorly tied bow I’m wearing.   It’s embarrassing enough.  Truth be told,  everything in that picture is fake.   The picture is even missing my older brother.  Who takes a “family” pic without all your children there?  Wouldn’t you rather have a pic of you and your 4 kids?  Not my mother.  Gotta have “him” in it.  A false representation of a true reality.   Makes you wonder why the root word of reality is real.  Ain’t nothing real about that picture!!  Even the reality shows of today are all partially scripted.  So much for being real.  But, hey, real doesn’t exactly make tv ratings go up. Read More

A Polygamist…A Prophet…A Pedophile

And, here I thought my tri-fecta of fuckedupness took the cake…

eba67fc130c38c49777d30f23444c89eI’m not a Mormon nor do I claim to even know 10% of that religion. All I’ve ever heard is they have their sealed marriage ceremonies, their secret handshakes and passwords. Sealed together for all time and eternity. Sounds bizarre to me. The closest I ever got to reading The Book of Mormon was when my crazy friend, Letty, “stole” the Book of Mormon from our Vail hotel room and stuck it in my suitcase. Found it unpacking when I got back to Dallas. Bitch. I’ll get her back. Read More